I was knee-deep with pneumonia. That would be okay if I were being treated. Yet, doctors chose this instant in time to tell me that I was making up my symptoms. Here I was in a foreign country and experiencing the one time in my life I would be happy to be diagnosed and treated by conventional means. The system failed me again and I was left in the emergency room to look like a lunatic and sincerely fighting for every breath of my life.
I went crazy with affirmations and pulled out my biggest guns I had at the time. But even technology was failing me and these calls for help did not get very far. One month before, I had met someone I would call my psychic angel. She warned me in her way of what was to come but she also came to me at a time I was so sad I could not contain it all in my body. “There is so much emotion in you, sadness is the biggest one. You have to let it go. ” she had said to me with her eyes of discernment and truth. She knew I knew she was right.
I thought back to the another month prior and recalled how sad I was to leave home. It was not just because I was leaving- it was more than that. I was leaving behind my “work” that the world did not know about. This was not only decades of artwork hidden in a closet I was talking about. This was “new”, visionary stuff- a merging of astrology, art and soul. It was something that the world around me did not appreciate. I became angry, frustrated and sad all at once because as I was leaving the land of my roots, I realised I was choosing also to leave this work behind. I was sad with my own choice with tears pouring down on my last day at home.
Two months later came this bout of pneumonia that took me two years to heal ON MY OWN NATURALLY (yes, and then I also had to hear medical doctors say I never had any infection because I healed without drugs). I went through depression, suicidal thoughts and rage at the health care system. I felt massively unsupported. In my quiet moments mostly confined to the bed, I reconnected with my inner child who had been in a similar position for an even longer period of time. I will tell you the secret of how she healed now- she only focused on what she could do, she was practical, smart and wildly focused on her goal. She dragged herself out of the bed in fits of pain – to draw and colour. She created with abandon. She was fully committed to what she was doing.
I had an AHA moment when I realised just how passionate we both were. She was still with me. I was determined. I set up my paints and paintbrush and for the few minutes I could sit upright, I painted doom and gloom. It was muddy and murky and messy. There was so much I had to clear energetically and I went to work like nobody’s business. From morning to night, I was in healing mode. Brilliant ideas started coming in but I had only so much energy to do anything about them until the “new”, visionary stuff paid me another visit. I knew it was time- after at least a year of healing and clearing, I got to work painting Astro Soul Portraits. I had no choice now but to dedicate myself to them. What the world knew as my work had to wait.
One month before I was to leave again for my trek across the seas, I received the blessings for the Astro Soul Oracle Cards. These incorporated the spirit of the Astro Soul paintings but were in a format that anyone could use, anytime to tap into the guidance of the cosmos. This was huge and I knew it and this time, I chose not to ignore it. I was pumping with passion and purpose at this point. In TWO weeks, I made the entire deck of cards and had it sent for printing. Grasshoppers were around me at the beginning and they represent a LEAP of CREATIVITY. I felt supported in my mission. This deck is available for anyone to buy and that was a dream come true for me- to know that now anyone can feel the magic of the astrological powerhouses in the palm of their hands. it is the one I use primarily in my readings now. It is solid and rooted in the cosmic picture. As above, so below, as always.
My takeaway for you: If you have a dream or vision, hold on to it despite the noise of the outer world. Do not let the world get to you before you are propelled to make the choice your heart knows is best (You can, of course, but it will be very painful and exhausting).
I know what it means to be heartbroken out of separation from own’s gifts. That’s why I created this course to help you unleash your inner gifts in your work right now. There is nothing quite as fulfilling as being able to be true to yourself in the work you do. As you can see from my story, using your gifts are critical for your spiritual health blossoming.
In my case, I almost died in two ways- physically and spiritually. It was the return to life by being more truly me that gave me the purpose and passion I needed to rally on.
In the Rock Your Life Purpose Course (start date: Jan 2017), I will share with you powerful techniques and tools I used to get myself back on track with my purpose.
There is no better time to harness the magic of your gifts and potential with the Supermoon in Taurus! 